Even though I found my ultimate red lipstick maybe a year ago, I thought this would be a great post for anyone who still hasn’t found theirs.
As if the struggle of life isn’t enough, make-up brands don’t make the one thing we need most in our lives easy. Finding the perfect red lip is a mission for us women. The multiple choice of which red lipstick suits you best is one of life’s hardest problems. Crimson to plum, maroon to scarlet, or those shades made specifically for certain tones of skin are seriously the hardest to choose from. But ultimately that’s why beauty bloggers are there. Maybe.
The hardest thing for me when I was looking for the perfect colour for my smackers was that a certain red may look lovely on the likes of olive skinned Eva Longoria, but in an ideal work I am not, nor ever will be as perfect featured as her, nor would I ever have that perfect tan. Although I am tanned (hardly) it’s difficult to find something that’s so perfectly suited to compliment my skin, my hair or make me look a little more feminine. As well as this I couldn’t cope with super glossy lipstick or anything with shimmer and I found the brighter my lips where the more ridiculous I looked. I really couldn’t win this battle.
So when I found my shade, I wanted to thank Gucci Westman. (Bit late now, but thanks).
The perfect shade was found whilst I was swatching maybe hundreds (over exaggeration) of red lipsticks. I went from tester to tester, store to store and couldn’t find anything. It even got so bad I thought I’d look in supermarkets. Not that that’s a bad thing. Some supermarkets have surprisingly amazing cosmetics. But when I realised this was something I could wear around the clock and not look like a clown I bought it. Maybe slightly impulsively but also because I didn’t want to be in my fifties one day and realise all my life answers were to lay in a black and gold lipstick tube with the perfect bullet of red for me. If you’re wondering what shade it is I wear and what brand; Revlon Matte Lipstick – Really Red #900. (The perfect red for this picky sod).
Although this is my make-up bag and potentially life staple (not an over exaggeration) that doesn’t mean it would necessarilly be yours. But give it a shot, It’s only £7.45; although I’ve gone through two in a year, but thinking about it I wear this lipstick everyday and I hardly have to re-apply. So happy shopping and let me know what your favourite red lipstick is too.
So I stayed in bed till really late again today. In comparison to what I was doing a month or so ago. It’s bizarre that life can literally alter in the blink of an eye and all of a sudden you go from working full time, not really earning a considerable amount, being moderately happy but knowing something is missing. To the complete opposite and having the thing that was missing previously to be your only safe ground. Like a haven…
Currently I’m sat on my mattress on the floor in my bedroom at my mums, trying to figure out what exactly has happened to me and my life in such a short space of time. Really? I’m not entirely sure. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind. I mean I’m constantly thinking about all of the little (incredibly fucked up) parts of my life and trying to at least get a slight understanding, but when you’re 19 and your whole life takes a slight turn for the worst, it’s pretty difficult.
So here it is. My aim in the next year is to go to uni September ’16, so that’s my main focus; but with an amazing portfolio proving that I would be an amazing photographer with all the little bits that come with it. Move to London because I’m in love with it and in comparison to the population of the capital it makes me feel weirdly calm and at home. As well as that, you know; it’s one of the most cultural cities I’ve been to (other than Milan), the art scene is incredible, artists work for passion rather than just for money and also it’s where I lost my Five Guys virginity, so naturally as a girl, I am emotionally drawn to my first love (not surprising it’s food, hey).
Seriously though, my slight sanity (that’s left anyway) is due to the fact I have my photography. If I didn’t have that, I’d probably be crying myself to sleep every night with a bottle of Jim Beam tucked up in bed with me. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous but when you’re 19, your friends are a text here and there because they have lives (unlike yourself), you don’t have money or a job and you’ve picked up some bad habits that literally came from nowhere (actually I’ll thank my dad for those) shit gets really fucking confusing.
So from this point (Tuesday 22nd September 2015) I vow to be myself and never end up the forty-nine year old ‘soccer mom’, who wishes she’d chased her dreams a little more, still wore red lips and nails and lived in sequins, fur and a fuck load of rings (me now). I also vow to make sure that the people in my life are always in my life no matter what happens (basically don’t lose lines of communication with the people I love). Lastly, I vow to never let anyone stop me from being a photographer or from being who I am. Period. *How do you end vows by the way? Is it ‘Amen’? or do I just celebrate with a shot of something?*
So today I’ve shot a little for my uni portfolio; because at the minute there’s not much chance I’ll get in. I’ve been working on ideas for low cost shoots and decided I wanted to do a series of self portraits. It’s not really ideal as I don’t think I photograph that well but being me I’m doing it anyway and I’m enjoying it.
The shoot today consisted of me on my bed wearing almost all of my favourite things, from sequined vintage tops to a magazine (yeah I know it sounds a little insane because you can’t wear i-D). Either way I had a smile on my face when I uploaded everything onto my laptop. I’m actually doing what I enjoy doing.
The aim of this first shoot is more for myself. It’s all to do more with wearing what I want and being who I want to be. As well as this I want to reassure myself that I am who and what I want to be. Don’t get me wrong I’m not completely happy with myself but for the time being this is what I’m going to be so why not embrace it.
I’ll be shooting probably once a week. But if anyone does feel like joining in and helping me shoot or even modelling let me know! (It’s ok you don’t have to wear a magazine if you don’t want to)
So I had a friend and yes I have friends; message me the other day to say that she was really enjoying the stuff I was writing about. When I asked her what else she’d love to read about, her reply was “Dating!!”. REALLY? Are you sure you want me to write about dating?
But here I am, writing about dating (I know more about maths than I do dating – even that took me 4 attempts and I still failed).
So the same friend that messaged me, was also a friend who was giving me dating advice a few weeks ago. Whilst telling me the things girls usually do when dating a guy, she also said that it wasn’t legit if; He doesn’t take you for dinner in a suit and tie and pays for it and if he doesn’t buys you jewellery or something expensive. Then I spoke. My reply to what seemed crazy and like nonsense (still does a little, sorry *friend*) was.. “One of the best days out I’ve had was going to museums and then going for a burger in Five Guys” (lost my Five Guys virginity too). Yah! Sounds like fun, don’t it? Well apparently that isn’t what girls do. I was not aware of this.
What I took from that chat was that I don’t care. I like going to museums and eating burgers and all of the other things I’ve been doing. That’s quality time. Well kind of, maybe not when the burgers falling out the bun and almost own your top (unless they’re into that, then do that). But seriously, don’t expect expensive things all the time. The best things I could think of are my favourite kinds of things. It’s more to do with “spending quality time, with quality people”. Don’t get me wrong, if the poor sod buys you something, take it and be appreciative. Just don’t expect it.
I already know the girl who messaged me about dating and gave me the idea for this post is probably going to text me later. She’s also probably going to tell me I’m mad and need help. But, oh well!
*Side note* So ‘boy’ if you have read this (which is kind of awkward).. all I want is more burgers and museums.. (and other secret things, shhh!).
So if you Google the word femininity, the definition it comes up with is; ‘the quality of being female; womanliness. Still, I have no idea what that means.
Femininity to me is something completely different to that. I joke all the time about being so ‘unfeminine’. But really I am, in a more I don’t give a s**t kind of way. Don’t get me wrong I always have makeup on and I take a ridiculous amount of time, picking out what I want to wear every morning (purely because I want to be a stylist) but other than that, there’s nothing. My idea of femininity is being lairy, drinking beer and taking advantage of the fact I’m a girl (basically, being confident).
Until today I never really thought about being feminine or a feminist, nor have I ever thought it’s something that should be fort about or is just something to do with lesbians. I think we all have that preconception that if we aren’t feminine enough we’ll never have a boyfriend or we’ll be protesting in the streets of London.. topless. I understand that most people also have double standards for girls, women too. But why? If I drink beer and joke about sex openly does that mean I should be a man or does it just mean that I’m comfortable with who I am and should carry on with being who I am.
The number of times I’ve heard the words “act more ladylike” or “sometimes I think you should’ve been a boy”. It doesn’t really bother me. Like yeah, cool! I burped or I had a pint of Stella (who gives a f**k). At the end of the day, being a woman does mean that we have a right to be confident but also push each other, rather than being so s**tty toward each other.
This was kind of a random post, but scrolling through Instagram and Tumblr, reading people’s comments and just generally looking at posts, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to post something that people seems to complain about rather than take advantage of. So stop being silly. Take off your bra, sit on the sofa with your hair done or your rollers in, with your heels on and have a print whilst you watch Eastenders tonight. AND.. if anyone asks you “what the hell are you doing”, make sure you reply with something sassy and slightly cheeky (or just tell them to f**k off).
Periods. The word in general makes me hate anything and everything. Not only because when I’m having my period is my vagina basically killing me, but also just because it’s telling me I’m not pregnant. I mean HURRAH! Isn’t it great to know, but even then the day I stop having periods completely (and not even out of choice) I’m either going to be baring a child (oh joy.. another thing that’s going to ruin my body) or I’m half way through my life and don’t even have a choice in the matter.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being ungrateful about the fact I could potentially bare a child one day (maybe, I’m actually still undecided on that), but I don’t see the need in me having to take ibuprofen what seems like every hour because my body is slowly crippling with the pain. I mean, I’ve worn shoes that hurt less.
Either way, I deal with this by doing two small things. Using all kinds of profanity and being the queen of procrastination. Oh and naps.
Which brings me to my second point. Profanity. I swear by it (pun not intended). I mean, what’s better than using disgusting language to get over pain, anger, being annoyed, etc etc. Literally nothing, obviously, other than chocolate and sex (sorry mum!). Also, who said saying the ‘F word’ was unladylike? Huh? Even my gran uses the occasional bad word and she’s one of the best women I know. So stick it!
Being the queen of procrastination isn’t easy either. I mean you have to look like you really are doing what you should be, even if you aren’t. So I’ve decided I’m not going to share the in’s and out’s with you. Just incase I have to use it in your presence (not that I would.. obvs).
As of today, I’m going to carry on with my day as much as I can until I have decided to give up on being a girl and want to become a boy. (I feel a sex change would hurt less). Bye for now. If I don’t post tomorrow, I’m most likely hibernating for 3-7 days.