One thing I’m certain about is that being young is difficult. It’s one of those things that sometimes feels as though it’s the easiest thing in the world and then all of a sudden comes crashing down on you worse than a hangover after a crazy night out (you know the ones I mean, when you wake up thinking you survived drinking copious amounts of toxic to only feel like it’s your last day on earth five minutes later).
My experience being young wasn’t too great. From braces and a fringe to never going out with friends after school because I preferred eating cheese toasties and watching That 70’s Show, I didn’t have the usual social life of a young person in Leicestershire. As well as all of this I was also the Ugly Betty. Sure! Things have changed a little now but mainly because I know how to contour and finally learnt how to dress myself without looking like a clown. Even so, my school years were never to kind to me; but it taught me to not care about people’s opinions, so even though I didn’t test well I learnt the biggest lesson pretty early on, to never give a fuck of what people thought of me.
From going to house parties and pretending you’re staying at your mates, to coming home and paying ridiculous amounts in taxi fines over the years because drinking and travelling isn’t for you, being a teen is traumatic. Having been able to legally drink from 18 in the UK; not that it stopped most of us drinking before that anyway, it does get out of hand pretty quickly. My last year of being a teen was maybe the most difficult. I was severely depressed for the majority of the year alongside denial, partying and getting drunk every weekend and caring more about boys and Glen’s vodka than studying. Yes, I’m aware that it’s a normal part of being a teen, but it starts to play a big part in life for teenagers, especially girls and especially those from a little town in a big city.
Once I turned 20, well lets just say things started going fairly ok. As ok as they could be. I think I learnt my lesson on my birthday that drinking wasn’t always about not remembering everything the next day. I’ll admit, I’ve had a few nights out where I’ve gotten stupidly drunk but it’s calmed down a little. Even then sometimes you do still feel down and wonder if maybe your expectations are little high when you’ve spent your whole life saying that you will never give into the white picket fence and the 2.2 children statistic. But then you have a sudden realisation that you are incapable of looking after children and managing to hold down a job and a household; so you feel a little stuck in between life and fantasy.
As the months go quicker and I come closer and closer to the big day that I celebrate twenty-one years on earth without dying, I realise more and more that everything that’s happened in life has happened. I can’t change it or morph into someone new. Admittedly it’s shit, but you have to come to terms with the fact that life isn’t always the most fun thing in the world. I’m not one for cheesy motto’s but sometimes you have to just take what life throws at you and get on with it (something my mum would say when in a heated discussion) but it’s true, not that I would ever usually admit it.